My 2019 Relationship + Social Media Intentions
In 2017, I wrote a book with Reina Pomeroy called Big Plan for the Creative Mind, focused on different ways to set / manage goals and things to think about when you’re planning. One thing I keep coming back to over and over again is this concept of “garbage in, garbage out.”
The premise of the concept actually comes from computer science - it describes the concept that flawed, or nonsense input data produces nonsense output or "garbage". The principle also applies more generally to all analysis and logic, in that arguments are unsound if their premises are flawed. In terms of life and general existing though, it says that inputs affect outputs - what you put into your body impacts what comes out of it.
2018 for me was a return to focusing on my health - but I narrowed my focus to largely a physical scope. Getting right with my diet, learning new habits like going to the gym, etc.
My goal for 2019 is to also focus on my brain, applying this concept of garbage in, garbage out to the content I consume, the relationships I have, etc. Knowing this, I’ve set three 2019 relationship and social media intentions:
I will no longer feel guilty for relationships that slip away. I’m the kind of person that feels constant pressure to maintain every point of connection I’ve ever curated and I feel a tremendous amount of FOMO if one of those connection points starts to fizzle or fade. I’m committing to not being the only person reaching out in a relationship - they’re a two way street. To further this, I’m removing the digital relationship clutter - I will let go of digital connections that I haven’t communicated with in over a year without feeling guilt for doing so. (I will define “communicated with” as having a conversation or meaningful interaction - if I wouldn’t go out of my way to wish the person a happy birthday once a year on Facebook, that’s not a meaningful connection.)
I will no longer feel pressure to maintain a consistent presence. Over the past few years, I’ve watched with jealousy as friends have done social media detoxes. Shanna Skidmore took a whole year off of all social media. My sweet friend Alma detoxes from her phone and computer for 24 hours every Sunday. To further this, I am reclaiming control over my social media - I’m going to post and engage when I want to post and engage, without regard for “Instagram growth goals” or desired follower metrics, etc. If this means that my social media numbers suffer as a result, so be it. The volume of my voice does not come from the number of followers I have, but from the honest and genuine intention with which I share.
I will detox technology from my life in a more meaningful way. When my boyfriend Maddox met me, I could barely manage to be away from my phone for a few fleeting moments. I would reply to emails on dates, check my sales numbers on weekends while he was cooking me breakfast, and a number of other unhealthy technology habits. Over the past nine months, I’ve slowly gotten better and better about this, even turning off my work phone for a whole weekend at a time (gasp!). I want to continue to make progress on this new habit in 2019, returning to paper books and conversation, etc. to pass the time and engage with others.
I’m excited to see how these changes impact my overall health and wellness! Though these are titled “2019 changes,” I’m actually implementing them today (Dec 20th, 2018). There’s no better time to start than right now!
Let me know in the comments if you’ve felt this kind of pressure too and if you’ve ever wished you could step back from it all!